I’m Upgrading! Please Subscribe To Receive Future Posts

I have taken an important step and decided to give Kim’s Counseling Corner an upgrade. This means I can deliver so much more to you, the reader. However, these changes mean you will need to subscribe to follow this blog (even if you already have been subscribed) or this will be your final post email. Just follow this link- Kim’s Counseling Corner email subscribe and enter your email address into the box on your left. I know your time is valuable and I apologize for this inconvenience. You may continue to visit http://www.kimscounselingcorner.com on your own.

Inspirational & Informative Posts To Come!

In addition to improving the format of Kim’s Counseling Corner, I will also be sharing posts that are even more inspirational and more informative! Here’s a sneak peak of what’s to come!

  • How I Avoid Getting Burned Out (As a Mom and Therapist)
  • Guys, Mental Health, and Help Through Psychotherapy
  • New Video Channel! Interviews, Techniques, and Questions-and-Answers
  • Real-life stories of challenge, inspiration, and personal growth from readers just like you
  • An even more comprehensive resources section under Worksheets, Books, Links, & Apps
  • Information focused on helping new graduates and young professionals in the mental health field

As you can see, there is much more to come! I can’t wait to share more information and resources with you! Thanks for reading and I look forward to having you follow along from here!

growing

 

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Psychology of Positive Thinking

eco treeI’m improving my Worksheets, Links, Books, & Apps page by adding many more resources for an extensive collection of relevant topics. Be sure to follow this blog by email and get notified when new resources are added!

Positive Psychology

I really appreciate positive psychology because the concept and activities are simple, yet applicable to so many areas of life. You don’t need a psych background to use the worksheets and resources I’ve listed below. One of the most extensive online resources is a link from PositiveDisintegration.com.  I am impressed with the wealth of information on this site.

What is Positive Psychology

According to the Positive Psychology Center:

Positive Psychology is the scientific study of the strengths and virtues that enable individuals and communities to thrive. The field is founded on the belief that people want to lead meaningful and fulfilling lives, to cultivate what is best within themselves, and to enhance their experiences of love, work, and play.

Positive Psychotherapy Image

A Favorite Exercise

Three Good ThingsReflect on your day and identify 3 good things that happened to you.

This is a simple example of a technique in positive thinking. I like it because it’s easy to apply, and I have found that it works in my own life, and some of my clients even report they enjoyed it so much they want to continue, even after the two weeks I recommend.

Follow-up processing:

  1. How did this good thing happen to you?
  2. What strengths did you deploy to contribute to the good thing happening?
  3. What does it mean to you?
  4. How does it help you in the future?

Additional Resources 

Books:

Online:

Apps: 

Worksheets

If you have additional resources to share, please leave a comment. I look forward to sharing more as I bulk up the resources portion of this blog!

 

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background courtesy freedigitalphotos.net

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You may also want to check out information on my professional counseling and supervision services, or to contact me directly.

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Filed under Books and Resources, Therapeutic Resources

Advice for Young Professionals

Tips for Young ProfessionalsI’ll never forget my first year as an LPC-Intern. I knew only what the books taught me and nothing about real world application. I’m pretty sure I literally shivered with nerves through my first year of face-to-face counseling sessions, and I sought my supervisor’s validation constantly. However, where my counseling  skills and confidence lacked, my passion and thirst for experience made up for it.

No matter the industry you choose to start your career (or change your career), you are likely to experience similar feelings, but hopefully you also share the same level of passion and desire to reach your potential in your chosen field. My list below of tips for young professionals are points I find significant for a rich and successful professional journey.

1. Keep in touch with colleagues and classmates. You will make many friends in college and grad school, during internships, while volunteering, and at first jobs. I didn’t realize the value of maintaining these relationships until later on. While everyone may seem just as clueless as you in the early days, you eventually grow into your prospective fields and become more important, more influential, and more connected. You will find that staying connected with others not only enriches your personal life, but it will also benefit your professional life as well.

2. Get out of your comfort zone. Growing in your new profession will require some form of discomfort. I’ll never forget how nervous I was for my first counseling session (OK maybe my first 50 sessions!). These experiences are essential for improving your confidence, skills, and provide excellent opportunities to discover your strengths and weaknesses. With that being said, be sure to stay connected with your supervisor/mentors to ensure you are providing sound and ethical services.

3. Be creative. Post graduation, most people set out to find a job, usually the most common position in your field, and sometimes that may have to be the first job offered. For new counseling interns, you may even volunteer at local community outreach programs for hours, and a handful will try their hand at private practice. These are excellent roads to take, but if you find yourself wanting something different, if you find yourself feeling like there should be more to this career than what you see, then get creative!  You can start a blog or website, start up a non-profit, organize a networking group, and the list goes on. The  ideas are endless for you!

4. Own your own “style”. No matter what profession you enter, individualism is always refreshing. You may have observed that successful mentors and seasoned professionals use their own approach and build upon their strengths. For example, in counseling, I notice some therapists are more directive while others are more client-centered and less directive. Some therapists enjoy speaking and large groups, others prefer a quiet, encouraging  approach in individual sessions. No matter who you are and what you are doing, embrace your individualism and make it work for you.

5. Find a niche. A professor in grad school once told me that counseling is flooded with generalized therapists and suggested that I find a niche to realize success. I took this to heart and searched for many years to find a specialized area in which I could flourish. Not having many skills for therapy with children, I was drawn to play therapy. My professor was right…marketing myself as a play therapist has opened up many doors and enriched my clinical skills. Consider your own passion and focus on growing this area.

6. Appreciate the journey. It’s natural and healthy to look ahead to the future, especially when it promises a better job, more money, etc. But don’t forget to relish in the moment of your current experience. New therapists, for example, are often so eager to complete their internship and be done with supervision, that they overlook the value of the present and what that time means for their career and their life. This anticipation is normal, but I urge you to slow down and appreciate the experiences, skills, and knowledge you are gaining where you are… even the bad ones! Think about how this experience will make you a better professional and person.

7. Network in your community. Attend local continuing education opportunities, open houses, and even reach out to professionals related to your field. When starting out, you need to create a name for yourself and building relationships is the first step. These days, it’s even easier to stay connected through email, social media, and Linkedin.

8. Be a resource for others. There are a variety of ways you can be a resource to your colleagues and community. For example, send referrals to a fellow colleagues, share resources, support them at their open house and other professional social events, and be a part of discussions about client/patient issues, and other challenges of your practice.

9. Plan on learning forever. I constantly seek out more knowledge on subjects in my field and new techniques to apply in practice. There is no shortage of information from online websites, apps, and podcasts, in addition to continuing education courses, so access should be easy. When your schedule fills up, and the more experience you gain, you tend to assume that ongoing learning is no longer a priority. Not so! Make education a a part of your day now, so the habit remains far into the future. You will be glad you did!

10. Reach out to more seasoned professionals. I receive emails regularly from new therapists and I’m happy to offer guidance when possible. Most professionals want to give back and appreciate eager newbies showing a passion for their field. The mutual respect usually benefits both parties anyways. Not sure how to initiate? Get in touch with them by email, offer to buy them coffee, or request a few minutes on the phone.

For more information on my clinical and supervision services, click here, or contact me directly.

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Improving Routines and Behaviors for Toddlers Through Elementary

Morning routines, evening routines, and even weekend routines… this is an ongoing challenge for parents of young children. We know the importance of keeping kids on a consistent schedule, but it can be quite stressful making the process smooth. As a mom of two young kids and a child therapist, including one toddler, making this process easier was important to me. As a therapist, I also saw this to be a struggle for many parents of the children I was seeing.

The Challenges with Routine

  • Distractions. The temptation for the kids to want to play instead of eat dinner, and for me to watch the news instead of prepare dinner, is one example of how distractions affect us at my house.
  • Stress. Getting yourself and the kids ready in the morning is no easy task and often very stressful. You do “what you have to do” just to get out the door on time.
  • Change. There’s no getting around the fact that changes in your family/life happen and adjustments have to be made. New babies are born, job schedules change, kids start new extra curricular activities… all requiring a modification to your routine.
  • Lack of Energy. I don’t know any parent who feels they get enough sleep and with all the activities of life today, disregarding a routine is very tempting, especially when you kids are resistant (bath, bed, etc.).

How a Routine Chart Is Helpful

  • Visual. Kids respond well to a visual picture of the routine. I use pictures of each stage of the morning, evening, or day.
  • Active Participation. On the chart I created, kids move the picture of the completed task from start to finish. It’s similar to the satisfaction we get when when we check off or mark off an item on our “to do” list!
  • Variation. As mentioned above, routines change, and sometimes daily. This chart allows for variation and flexibility to meet one’s needs.
  • Control. Since the pictures can be arranged in any way, the child may choose the order of certain areas, within the limits set by the parent. For example, the child may put “brush teeth,” “brush hair,” and “get dressed” in the order they desire. This gives the child a sense of control to part of their routine and encourages participation.
  • Reinforcement. The child can choose from the rewards allowed by parents. For example, after the morning routine, the child may choose to play the ipad or play with toys for their remaining time, or when they get home that day.

Creating a Routine Chart

I remembered from working with Occupational Therapists for many years, they used activity charts to get kids to participate in all the activities in therapy. I adapted this concept to my own parenting needs, and shared it with some of my clients’ parents. So far, the parents I made a chart for have reported they are finding it useful and the kids are happy to follow the chart and earn their reward. With my own toddler, it was a huge improvement from the battles we were facing every night.

Step 1. I first downloaded Boardmaker Studio by Dynavox Mayer-Johnson. You will want to register for their free 30 day trial if you are not familiar with the program, or have no other use for it. This program offers a lot that I am still discovering and playing with. It will take you a little time to become familiar with the program, but it’s pretty simple to learn.

Step 2. You will want to search for pictures that describe the activities and rewards you will use. Here is a sample of the pictures I downloaded:

Activity Squares

ACTIVITY SQUARES

chart 3

REWARD SQUARES

Examples of Activities:

  • Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner
  • Bath time
  • Bed
  • Brush teeth and brush hair
  • Get dressed
  • Gather things (I used a picture of a back pack)
  • School
  • Clean Up
  • Use Potty

Examples of Rewards:

  • Park
  • Ipad (This search doesn’t come up, but I found a picture of a laptop and named it Ipad)
  • Computer
  • TV
  • Swimming pool
  • Read books
  • Play with toys

Step 3. Choose a routine template from Boardmaker Studio. You can modify to your needs, or print out as is. I do not put activity symbols on the routine template because I am going to cut them out separately later.

ROUTINE TEMPLATE

Step 4. Print your routine template and picture squares.

Step 5. Laminate all the print outs.

Step 6. Cut out each picture square after laminating is complete.

Step 7. Add velcro to the back of each picture square. Add the corresponding side to each square on the routine templete, as well as on the square next to “Reward.”

Step 8. Ready for use! Describe the chart to your child. Be sure to show them the rewards they can choose from, as well as practice moving the squares from top to bottom after they are complete.

Tips on Using Chart

  • Play with the chart before showing your child. Decide which activities you want, and for what part of the day. Also, choose the rewards you want to offer, and at what times (you don’t want to offer the park if it’s at the end of the day). Also, I limit choices for my toddler to two at a time.
  • Describe how to use the chart, the purpose of the chart, and rewards to your child.
  • Show excitement about the chart with your child. They will likely share in your excitement, especially if it means they earn rewards!
  • Be consistent! It’s important to use this regularly to reinforce habit, as well as show your commitment to the established routines.
  • Let the child move the squares from the “To Do” section to “Finished.” Consider how you would feel if someone else crossed of an item on your list… no way! 🙂
  • Print one general chart, or get more specific (morning, evening, etc.)
  • And finally, modify the chart to meet your needs. If the sample I have provided doesn’t work, then make a change. I continue to modify the chart for my home, as well as for my clients… no shame! 🙂

chart 2

Alternate Use: Chores

I have also used this same concept for chores. Place the chores for the week at the top and as the child completes the chore, they move to the bottom. The reward can be at the end of the week.

I would love to know how this works for you, or if you have another great idea for getting kids on a routine!

If you would like information on my services, please visit my website at www.kimscounseling.com!

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Filed under Behavior Modification, Discipline, Limit Setting, Family Life, Parenting

A Letter of Encouragement to Myself

10 X0JTVjQzNDkuanBn“I don’t always love Parenthood”

I talk a lot about my life as a mom on this blog. Usually I am sharing joyful moments, techniques, and other positive themes on parenthood. I’ll be completely honest though. While a moment doesn’t go by that I don’t love my kids more than life and want to give everything to them… the truth is that I don’t always love “parenthood.” It’s a HARD JOB, often filled with stress and always requires sacrifice. I work hard as a mom. I give my whole heart to them and desire to give them a happy, structured, opportunistic childhood. I want to raise them with good character and values. This kind of parenting requires a lot of effort and I am thankful to have a wonderful husband and father to my children to share in these responsibilities. Still, all you mothers and father know what I am talking about when I say that being a parent isn’t easy.

Negative Self-Talk = Negative Mood

In the middle of the most stressful times, like getting the kids dinner and bath by yourself, when one of them has an ear infection and the other is testing boundaries like there is no tomorrow, all on an empty stomach and back ache from an injury during your work out… Yes this is me! 🙂 You have to draw strength to continue without biting everyone’s head off! 🙂 I noticed my self-talk was very negative during these moments. I was really making those stressful times even more miserable for myself and spiraling into a state of stress, anxiety, and feelings of hopelessness. I want to look back and know I enjoyed my kids when they were little, not the experience I was having.

A Letter From My “Negative Self” to My “Positive Self”

When things are calm (aka when kids are in bed or entertaining one another) my mind set and perceptions about parenthood are totally different. I decided to write a letter from my calm, joyful self to my stressed, negative self.

I’m going to share this personal letter with you here.

Dear Kim,

I know you are stressed right now and feel like giving up. Raising kids is hard, especially when both of them are so young. Please remember: You are strong; You are a good mommy; Your kids are amazing; And this won’t last forever! Time will go by so quickly… it already has and you want to relish in the precious moments you have with your babies. Give yourself a break if needed! If your kids are in bed 30 minutes later… they will get an extra long nap tomorrow. If water splashes out of the tub, just put a towel down. If the kids are crying and clingy, it’s because they miss you… give them love and nurture them tonight! Take it moment by moment and remember to breath. Your babies are precious and your family is beautiful. There is no reason to stress like you are. Take care dear kimmy and focus on that warm bath and glass of wine you have planned for later tonight!

Your Turn: Writing a Letter to Yourself

Practicing positive self talk and positive affirmations is not a new concept. However, I found it very helpful to write Depositphotos_26703933_mthis. The act of writing itself is therapeutic, such as journal writing. You also have something to reference during your times of stress. We all see things differently when we are in a good mood versus a bad mood. Reminding yourself of your “good mood perceptions” can encourage you to push through and give you positive affirmations that may be hard to come up with during times of stress.

You don’t have to be a parent to use this tool. Whether you are battling an illness, training for a competition, attempting to loose weight, or studying for an exam or overall degree, this can be a useful tool to apply in your life. When you feel strong, confident, and joyful, this is the time to sit down and write down reminders to yourself about how you feel now and the reasons to push through whatever adversity you are facing.

Applying This Tool In Therapy

I find that client’s often describe their moments of distress in therapy as being really bad at the time, but when they talk to me they say things like “I know this is normal…” or “At the time it felt so hard…” Writing a letter to can be an excellent homework assignment. Have the client write a letter to themselves when they are feeling more positive and strong and use it as I have described here.

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I’ve Been A Busy Woman… Come Check Out My New Office!

If I haven’t responded to your email or facebook post, or you have noticed my blog posts have been few and far between, it’s because I have been a very busy woman! Over the last many months, I’ve worked on establishing a new place for my clinical practice.  If you have ever set up a new office, or moved into a new home, you know the errands and tasks are endless… or seem that way at times. I am so happy to be moved in and wanted to share my space with you all!

 Clinical Practice

Kingwood Counseling and Play Therapy

First off, the name of my practice is Kingwood Counseling and Play Therapy. For more information, please visit my practice website at www.kimscounseling.com! Here you will learn more about the who, what, and where of my services!

Combining Psychotherapy and Play Therapy Spaces

While I looked very hard for a space that separated the play therapy room and talk therapy room, I actually decided on a larger space that allowed me to combine the two types of treatment, and still have room for a desk and work space!

As you can see from these two pictures, the play area is behind the talk therapy space. My desk is off to the side, away from everything else.

The combined space has worked out great and here’s why…

  • One reason is that sometimes I don’t know how receptive a child will be to play therapy, especially when they are around 7-8 years old. This allows for the child the have the opportunity to explore both spaces as needed.
  • My games, art materials, sand tray, and sand toys are in the play area, but I am able still access these items quickly and easily with teens when I want to incorporate these modalities  into their treatment.
  • I like to read to some of my younger clients toward the end of a play therapy session. It’s easy to walk over to the couch and snuggle up with the teddy and blanket on my couch.
  • Having a play area in the back is a reminder to adult clients that I work with all ages. If they want to make a referral, they know I am equipped to work with children as well!
  • The lighting in the area is divided between the play area and talk therapy space. I can turn on the light in the talk therapy space without turning it on over the play area, and vice versa. This minimizes distraction the toys may cause adult clients and creates an even calmer environment.

Psychotherapy (aka Talk Therapy) Space

My goal for this area is to create a warm, calming, and safe environment for clients. The colors are greens, blues, creams, and brown. The lighting is dimmed.  For auditory purposes, I have a white noise machine in the corner and a zen like fish tank that trickles water very, very lightly. In addition to the sound and a visual calming effect, the fish is also a way to bring the outdoors in… very important for me since I don’t have windows.

Office and Play room for Kingwood Counseling and Play Therapy (www.kimscounseling.com)

Play Therapy Space

The play area was the funnest to put together, of course. My goal was to display the toys in a way that made them easily visible to the child and easily accessible, yet organized and not distracting. I have sooo many toys and sand tray items, yet there are still some things I need (like puppets and a puppet center). Soon I’ll post more on my play room and share more detail about the toys and games I have. Here are a few good pictures to give you a general idea.

Office and Play room for Kingwood Counseling and Play Therapy (www.kimscounseling.com)

Waiting Room

My waiting room is just the right size. My goal was to create a space that was comfortable, blocked sound from the counseling office, and offered some perks to make clients feel special and welcome! These perks include coffee, tea, and water, free wifi, toys and games for kids, reading materials for adults, contemporary music, and a bubble gum machine (my personal fav!).

So, that’s pretty much it! Please feel free to ask questions or make comments (love positive ones especially!) on this post. I’m also interested in hearing if you have a personal experience with a counseling/play therapy office and any feedback for me just starting out!

Remember to visit my website at www.kimscounseling.com and help me move up on the google ratings! 🙂

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Filed under About Me, Local Houston and Surrounding Cities

Journal Writing

journal writing

I often encourage my clients to keep a journal. I find them to be a great way to explore feelings outside of the session and it often generates thoughts they may want to bring up in their next appointment.

What is Journal Writing:

Most simply, journal writing is keeping written or typed form of your thoughts. These thoughts can be structured by answering questions or following a journal prompt, or they can be free style. You could even say a diary is a journal.

Why journal?

Journal writing is a wonderful tool for increasing self-awareness and expressing your self.  It is a way to explore your inner thoughts, feelings, and desires. Some people even use journals to record important memories or dreams.

When and how?

Anywhere and anytime! Many people journal before bed, and others may journal when they feel the need to get their thoughts onto paper. All you need is a journal book, notebook, and even a laptop. Journaling can be in written form or typed. If you have a hard time starting a journal, I suggest using some journal prompts.

I created a journal prompt, which you can download and print for free by clicking on Journaling Writing Prompts. Here are the prompts in the print out:

1. Finish the sentence…

Today I feel…

I’m so happy I have…

I fear…

I feel challenged by…

A wonderful thing that happened today…

If I had the courage, I would…

Often times I wonder…

My mother …

I showed a lot of strength when…

Sometimes I imagine…

I’m embarrassed that…

My greatest achievement in life is…

2. Write about a difficultly time in your life when you showed strength.

3. People often have scripts, or sayings, that they repeat over and over again in their mind. Identify 2-3 common scripts you find yourself saying.

4. Describe how you want your life to look in 5 years, 10 years, and 20 years.

5. List your top three…

Worries.

Wisest people in your life.

People you trust.

Achievements.

Strengths.

Joyful memories.

Songs that make you happy.

Lifelong challenges.

Current challenges.

This is only a fraction of the ideas you can journal from. If you have any experiences with journaling, or if you have a good resource for more prompts, please share!

For more information on my clinical practice, please visit www.kimscounseling.com!

Kingwood Counseling and Play Therapy

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Filed under Child Therapy, Self Care, Therapeutic Activities, Uncategorized

Rory’s Story Cubes… Why have I not found these sooner?!

I was scrolling through toys for my kids a couple weeks ago and came across Rory’s Story Cubes. I thought they sounded fun and wanted to try using them in session so I purchased them for around $7 plus shipping on amazon.com. Turns out… I love this game!

About the Game

There are 9 cubes in the box about the size of your typical dice. Each cube is white with a black picture, different one on each side of the cube. The player,or players, roll the cubes and tell a picture from the story.

Ways To Play and Use In Therapy

1. One person rolls all the dice and tells a story using the pictures on the tops of the cubes while the other person listens. I used this on a young male client and young female client (both middle school age ranges). These were individual sessions and not as a group. I asked the child to roll the cubes and tell a story about their life and try to incorporate some difficult things they have been struggling with. At first, I wasn’t sure how effective or easy this would be, given it takes some thought and creativity. But the stories, and process of telling the story was great! It allowed the children another medium to describe what they were experiencing and I learned more about them as well. For example, one child rolled a cube with an alien face and used this to describe their parents and why they saw them in that way.

2. Two or more people roll the cubes and take turns telling a part of the story with one cube at a time. This will allow the therapist to incorporate themes or characters in the story and see how the client responds.

3. Incorporate superheros and villains. This idea is directly off the Rory’s Story Cubes website and I love it.

1. Describe your superpower.

Each person takes a turn to roll 3 cubes.

Use these to describe your superpower. (And a name, a name is very important).

2. Create a backstory.

Next everyone takes turns to roll all 9 cubes.

Use these to give your hero a backstory. Remember to add a flaw or weakness, this is what makes your hero human.

3. Create a Super-villain

All superhero teams need an arch-nemesis or super-villain to go up against. To create a super-villain, roll all 9 cubes then, as a group, use the 9 images to describe this villain. give him/her or it a unique ‘calling card’ a modus operandi, so for example The Joker always leaves a card, Bomb Voyage from the Incredibles leaves bombs etc.

Give him/her/it a name and a reason for doing what they do. How does the villain justify their actions?

Now that you have your characters, you are free to create all kinds of super-powered stories featuring the heroes and their arch-nemesis.

Story Cube App for iOS and Android

While pulling up the website for this post, I found out there is an app. Why not? There seems to be an app for everything these days. I downloaded the app for $1.99 and it’s pretty cool too. You shake your phone to roll the cubes and move them around as you wish with a touch of your finger. There are also different themed cubes you can purchase for another $1.99 each with themes of voyages, clues, enchanted and prehistoric. Below are pictures I took from my phone using the app.

Does anyone else have any suggestions for using this game? I hope you enjoy it as much as I have! 🙂

For more information on my clinical practice, please visit www.kimscounseling.com. 🙂

Kingwood Counseling and Play Therapy

3 Comments

Filed under Child Therapy, Family Life, Therapeutic Activities

What to Say to Someone Who Is Grieving

My neighborhood is grieving the sudden and unexpected loss of one of our own this week- a devoted father, husband, and friend. This shocking news has forced the family and all of us to ask many difficult questions over the last week, such as “What do I say to the family?”, “How do I tell my kids their father has passed?”, and “How do I know if my kids are coping in a healthy way?” With these and many other questions in mind, I will be spending some time over the next couple of weeks posting topics related to such a tragedy. To start with, I dug up a post from last June.

griefWhat To Say To Someone Who Is Grieving (original post from June 2012)

I talked with a friend recently who has experienced a personal loss. As a therapist, I know the best thing I can do is to  offer support and sympathy. As a friend, this was difficult because I wanted so badly to have the right words to “make them feel better” and even an urge to “fix” their problem. It got me to thinking about how difficult this situation is for many people. What do you say to someone grieving a deceased loved one, or to someone fighting a terminal illness? I am even referring to people experiencing difficult life struggles, such as the loss of a job, divorce, or finding out your child has a terminal illness or disability. These all entail grief in some way and are highly distressful.

The unfortunate news is that we all will be put in this position many times throughout our lives. The good news is that knowing what to say and do is actually pretty simple. Let them know you care. That’s all. You don’t have to have magic words, or a solution, or an explanation. Just tell them you care.

Examples of what to say:

These examples convey to the person that you are sympathetic to their personal sorrow and that you want to be supportive for their needs.

  • “I’m truly sorry for your loss.”
  • “I’m here whenever you need me.”
  • “Although I can’t know exactly how you feel, I understand how difficult this must be for you.”
  • “I’m off all week if you need me to come over. Just call me.”
  • “Let me know when you are ready to talk or have lunch. I’m here for you anytime.”
  • “Your ‘loved one’ was such an amazing person and my life was blessed by their friendship.”
  • No words- just a sincere and warm hug or touch will do.

Examples of what may NOT be the right words:

These examples can convey that you think you know exactly how they feel, are trying to fix their problem, trying to find some reason for what happened, or minimize the grief. As a grieving person, these comments don’t typically feel good at the moment. But remember, everything has a time and place too.

  • “It was their time.”
  • “Maybe God is trying to teach a lesson in all this.”
  • “I know how you feel.”
  • “You can always have another child.”
  • “At least you had 10 good years.”

In the past, I have said some things that were not the best, but they were all with a good heart. If you have said some things in the “not good” example list, please don’t beat yourself up. It’s most important that you cared enough to even be there any say something. For the next time you are confronted with a grieving friend, remember to keep it simple and just be there for your friend or family member.

Have you ever experienced a loss or gone through a difficult time? If so, what were some of the most comforting words or actions you received from others?

References:

Supporting A Grieving Person

What Not To Say To A Grieving Person

Things To Say To A Grieving Person

You May Also Like:

Helping Your Child Or Teen Through Difficult Times

Our Times Of Struggle

Staying Connected As A Family

For more information on my clinical practice, please visit www.kimscounseling.com. 🙂

Kingwood Counseling and Play Therapy

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Autism and the Benefits of ABA Therapy: A Guest Post by Spectacular Kids!

Autism and ABA

Autism is one of those words that was once rarely heard of, and now it seems to be all we hear. 1 in 88 children are now diagnosed with an Autism Spectrum Disorder; an alarming number, which has made drastic changes from the 1 in 150 reported in the year 2000. What is Autism? How did my child get Autism? What can we do to help? The questions are endless, and while scientific advances are on the rise, we are still limited in our knowledge of how Autism manifests, and why we continue to see this increase in prevalence.

 Autism is a developmental disorder, characterized by developmental delays, most apparent in language and social interactions. Since Autism is considered a “spectrum” disorder, characteristics differ from individual to individual. While some diagnosed with Autism may engage in tantrums and aggressive behaviors, exhibit little to no language, and show little interest in social engagement, others may have average language skills, show no aggression, and enjoy social interactions. As the saying goes, “Once you’ve met one individual with Autism, you’ve met ONE individual with Autism.” With an increase in awareness, parents are asking more questions, screenings are being done at 18 months, and professionals are creating Autism Assessment Teams to get thorough and comprehensive evaluations complete as early as possible.

The types of therapies available for an individual diagnosed with Autism are endless, however, those most often recommended include Speech Therapy, Occupational Therapy, and Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA). ABA, the only scientifically validated method of therapy for working with individuals with Autism, is a comprehensive therapeutic method, which encompasses: language, social skills, cognitive skills, self-help skills, fine & gross motor skills, and the management of problem behaviors. Throughout treatment, data is collected on all aspects of the treatment plan to ensure changes are made as needed to maximize success. Due to the extensive nature of the skills addressed in ABA therapy, it is most often recommended as an intensive approach; some individuals receive between 15 and 30 hours of therapy per week (intensity of services is determined after the initial evaluation). While ABA is generally done in a one to one setting, some groups that focus on building social skills may also be ABA based.

 Spectacular Kids ABA

Spectacular Kids ABA Therapy & Consulting, LLC, is owned by Dana Harris, a Board Certified Behavior Analyst (BCBA), who has been providing ABA services for 12 years. Spectacular Kids currently provides ABA, Speech, and Occupational Therapy to individuals with and without a diagnosis of Autism or related disorders. ABA therapy is provided on a full-time or part-time basis servicing both in-home and clinic-based clients between 12 months and 10 years. Our Speech and Occupational Therapy services are provided in clinic only by our partner, Brite Success; these therapies service individuals from childhood through adulthood. Our clinic is located at: 3059 Woodland Hills Drive Kingwood, Texas 77339. Contact Spectacular Kids for more information: 1-800-460-7459 ext 207 or visit our website at www.spectacularkidsaba.org.

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Filed under Behavior Modification, Discipline, Limit Setting, Local Houston and Surrounding Cities